I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
