I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
