New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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