what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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