I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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