I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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