i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
