Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
