I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
