Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
