all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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