now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
