Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
