White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
