non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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