I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
