Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
