? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
don't judge my taste in strippers
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
