In America we eat man semen.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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