I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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