Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Holy shit dude........stairs
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
