is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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