lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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