They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
