Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Dick very happy bro
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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