i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize