he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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