think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
