i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
