Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
