Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
sarcasm needs its own font
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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