ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize