just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
