He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
