I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize