How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize