You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
