My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
