Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Non-Jews are for practice
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
