Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize