just tell him i said nine months
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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