I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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