i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize