Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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