one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
