cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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