goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
