I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
