i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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