Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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