I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I am one with the molecules
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
