i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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