SEEEEXXX PLEASE
They should really pass out barf bags in church
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
