Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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