fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
No subtext here. People are naked.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
