New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
