I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize