yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
