We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I know her cup size but not her name....
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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