I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize