you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
