I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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