this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
