a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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