you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize