okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
