just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
