Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Randomize
