That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
