butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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