im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
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