I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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