you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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