i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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