Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
