its not stalking. its research.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
