I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
