Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
