I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
