is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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