I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
