can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
