She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I need to calm my uterus...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
