Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
This is the high leading the old right now
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
