we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
